Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
