Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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