3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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