what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
