I think i peed on brittanys purse
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have surprise drugs for everyone
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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