Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I will pee on everything he values.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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