I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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