oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Can Purell be used as lube?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
