He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
