nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
