you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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