you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
