hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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