so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
