You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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