I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
