I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
