and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Two words: blizzard sex
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
