wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
