turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
