thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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