didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
