"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is wine microwaveable?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
