so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
