Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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