put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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