just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
