i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
