Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
