The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
