He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
