you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
