I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
