Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
