I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
