You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
