A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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