I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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