i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
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