yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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