I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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