Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
