With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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