haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
