His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
