White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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