he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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