apparently the secret to your success is patron
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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