my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
