i just google imaged poop.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
only you would photoshop your dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
