Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
