i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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