And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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