I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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