508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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